Its been a funny old fortnight, plenty of birthdays and family things have made it a bit difficult to keep up with the blogging, but I am here and the barrage of ‘make up’ blogs are on their way 😀
As my last post stated, the practical work has not stopped.
My Paper cuts piece has evolved beautifully into a fabric print and is looking fantastic….
Now , Self harming is not something I do, just to clear that up – at least not in this way, I do believe I torture my soul sometimes, and that’s a difficult thing to explain.
I like many many other people have down days and times in my life when the world weighs heavy. However, I have 5 children still at home, stopping for any reason is not an option – I drive forward and plough on. Our oldest is diagnosed with ASD and my husband displays the same behaviour. Our second is currently going through puberty and, while she has always been a tomboy, she is now starting to believe it is a transgender path she is walking down. Add to this mix, that we also have a 7, 5 and 3 year old in the house – and you can imagine, some days I feel like I have so many other people in my head, that there is no space left for me.
I realised, a week or so ago, upon stumbling on an image, below:
Image by PectusMaximus on DeviantArt.com
When I saw this, I immediately saw the connection between this image, my poem ‘Papercuts’ and my own feelings of ‘loss of self’. and there, in that second, I realised that self harm was as much about putting myself last, going without or pushing myself over and beyond any physical, mental or emotional boundaries.
I really wanted to use photography and create a scene depicting ‘Love: Beyond the Book’ – That being that love often brings pain, in one way or another . Given the time constraints, I am not sure it is possible but it is definitely not off the agenda yet.
Meanwhile I found a few other images that got me thinking, and eventually I cut up wedges of book paper and wrote on them with my ink quill and red ink, to create a feeling that the writer had sliced through and drawn blood in the midst of trying to get the point across. Love is like a thousand paper cuts, it has a beautiful story – I truly believe that- but sometimes those cuts hurt so much, it is hard to see the words that tell us story.
Enjoy the gallery of collected images!